Back to basics

A poem

The door slammed shut behind her
from an eager thrust


perched upon the throne
she braced

ready to let it have it
like the noble savage she is
her nose upturned, pointing east
toward the squatting pans


can’t fight progress
she thought

feeling a smug air
blow past her haemorrhoids

I wonder if it’s all it’s cracked up to be
this civilised society
we attest to


am I working to live
or, living to work?
I’m not sure


but, we’ve come a long way
from our hunter gatherer roots


kinda
she appended

Im still hunting and gathering
ideas, beliefs and convictions
finding out who I am
what I’m all about

what matters to me
and why

what it all means

- this “life” thingy

damn
that last glass of red wine
has gone to my head …
what was I thinking about, again?

alcohol
you’re so often the lubricant
which brings unsolicited opinions
singing from our open orifices

do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti

now, if I could only
stay on track …

*hiccup*

with my train of thought

I’m an arsehole with an opinion
or …

something

wait

what was it, again?

maybe, the other way around
I’m an opinion with an arsehole

hmm …

oh yeah!

opinions are like arseholes
everyone has one


too true

hehe hoho

*hiccup*

I like that one most
and of all the crude sayings

chiming faithfully in the wind
that, likening opinions

with arseholes
resonates
in the gut


I must add
though - true, everybody has one
unlike my arsehole
I do not feel the necessity

to keep my opinion clean

… and sometimes it trickles out
when I have too much alcohol


meanwhile, a semi-autonomous hand
oblivious to the toilet epiphany going on upstairs
acted on muscle memory
busying itself with the aforementioned task.

© Darius the Mate


Written for dVerse.

Sorry/Not sorry, for the toilet humour.

What is life without community? I would love to connect with other nicecissists out there. Reach out, let me know what you think in the comments, and of course, give me a follow for more – nice!

Wordplay Pathway https://nicecissist.blog

24 thoughts on “Back to basics

    1. Thank you, Ain. I’m glad you enjoyed it – I was having some fun writing it. Im strictly about highbrow humour, after all – 😉 wink, wink, nudge, nudge. You have a fine eye, and an impeccable sense of humour, sir.

      Like

  1. Unlike opinions, starfish contemplations like this one are done in private and not inflicted on others. Too many fece-flinging monkeys in the world, if you ask me. When some opinionated type starts up, it’s time for me to excuse myself and find the ladies’.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: