A poem
Day 13, since you moved back in
and we agreed we’d give it
us
“one last shot”
working from home
I’m sat in this swivel chair
twitching like a downed deer
perhaps it would better to put the last shot in my temple
you’re across from me
laptop set on your knees
headsets drowning out the silence between us
your mother thinks you should leave me
I heard you on the phone earlier
she never liked me much
“too old, and too soft to start a family”, she once said
Merry Fucking Christmas
Things with no emotion;
• This swivel chair - although, it gets more screws than I do
• My coffee mug, stained with a bitter residue - we are kin
• The potted plant, sat on the windowsill, which casts a shadow that looks like a thumbs up, across my desk at 3pm, each day. Don’t you fucking patronise me, plant.
• Your face
© Darius the Mate
Written for dVerse.
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damn. smack across the face damn. ~
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😅 Thank you, M. ❤️
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That’s a plant? Seriously??
❤
David
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No, not at all. Just my imagination 💭 all of it! 😅
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This is both hilarious and heart-smashing in its honesty, which it would be a cliche to call brutal, but which still is. Everything in here, word and line, has proper weight and place, and leads the reader down into that sticky tarpit labyrinth of relationship without ever thinking to grab galoshes or a string for the way back out. I especially like the bullet list. That is just killing.
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Hedgewitch, I can’t emphasise how much I appreciate your comment. It’s heartening to receive such thoughtfully structured feedback. I’ll use it to fuel future work. Thank you, again. 🙂
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Just when I get bored and think no one makes me sit up and say “This!” anymore except Hedgewitch, I come here and read this. It is full of grit, a serrated kind of unblinking honesty, and definite masculine energy without posturing. Plus, the list thing at the end is an unexpected shift of gears. I loved this. It literally made me sit up and go “Ho!”
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Well, thank you very much 😅. That’s the sort of critique one always dreams of – I am very chuffed, for the review itself, and in knowing it tickled the right spot with you. It’s a wonderful feeling, a meeting of minds. Hope to see you here again.
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Quadruple love this!
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Thank you, Helen. 😁
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It takes your breath away. (I especially can relate to “Don’t you fucking patronise me, plant”)
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Thank you so much, Xan. I hate being patronised 😅 especially by plants.
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Darius its sad but, i had to giggle at that Christmas greeting she gave you
Nice concrete write
Much💛love
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Thank you, Gillena 😍
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Love the “things with no emotion” summary
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Thank you, Ron, that was definitely intended as the punch line.
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What an excellent use of the prompt! Such situations are heartbreaking, and it’s certainly a poem for our times when you read ‘headsets drowning out the silence between us.’ I love the list at the end, there is some black humour there, for sure!
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Thank you, Ingrid. I very grateful you enjoyed the dark humour.
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Excellent Darius. Lucky chair… 🙂
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Most thanks, Rob!
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I say throw the potted plant where it came from. Haha. Gorgeously rendered 💝💝
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Thank you, Sanaa ☺️
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love it… except that mocking plant. I’m with Rog on that… ( but I guess it was a gift from your mother in law)
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😂 luckily it’s entirely imagined. I did try to be as dry as possible, glad it’s come off as such.
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get rid of the potted plant now!! great poem
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Thanks, Rog! 😋
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